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Conductor Jokes

Please e-mail me if you have anymore 

thsi page's song is 99 red balloons by goldfinger



"What life is there outside band?" - Mr. Noworyta

Why didn't the band director get struck by lightening even though he stayed on his aluminum ladder in a thunderstorm?
    Seems he wasn't a good conductor.
Why are conductor's hearts so coveted for transplants?
    They've had so little use.

Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same time gets to be the conductor.

"There is no i in marchng band." - Mr. Morehouse

Why do football players hate the band?
    Because after haftime everyone leaves.
How do you know if you have a band party next door?

You know it will be a bad day in band class when (submitted by Alex the bass clef):
 1. You cut your toung on any double-reed instrument.
 2. You have your spit slide pulled out, your valve taken out, ect. when you hear "Horns Up!" and you have the melody for a measure. That happens a lot to me.
 3. You splat and sound bad because your laughing at the percusionist (Cacy) dancing around the bass drum on the intro to "Lean on Me."
 4. You ACCIDENTLY drop your trumpet mute. Hehe.
 5. You get valve oil in your mouth. Ick!
One I (paqi) would like to add is if you really violently crush a reed by accident. It's a bad omen, I'm telling you.
Lauren the clarinetist suggested when you break a mouthpiece. Ouch.

I don't wanna grow up
I'm a pep band kid
There's a million songs in pep band that I can play with!
There's 'bones and pics, a bass and drumsticks
It's the funnest band group there is (gee whiz)!
I don't wanna grow up
'Cause maybe if I did,
I couldn't be a pep band kid.

Band in the morning.
Band in the evening.
Band at suppertime.
When its a week from contest,
you can have Ba-and anytime. (Credit Stephanie C.)

Flag Corps Hit Point System (X2 if you knock them down):
    Other Flag: 0
    Flute: 10
    Clarinet: 10
    Saxophone: 15
    Trumpet: 20
    Trombone: 25
    Baritone: 35
    Sousaphone: 50
    Drumline: 55
    Drum Major: 65
    Band Director: Run!!!!!