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This pages song is a complicated life by weird al. I know it should be a good charlotte song but it's being stupid

they are awsome!

Bandimals that didn't make the cut
Designed to go with 'The Evilphone Story,' among other fairy tales

By: paqi
with many thanks to Renni

Unfortunately, for one reason or another, not all bandimals are qualified for the Evilphone's forest. My sister (Renni) and I designed bandimals to flee the Evilphone, but we had an inordinate amount of rejects. You've seen the piccsnake and the clarfish, but here are a couple of the ones that didn't make it in:

The Running Clarinet: this was the very first bandimal after the Evilphone. Renni's a clarinetist, so after I worked out the Evilphone, she insisted on creating an equivalent for her instrument. It got left off because it wasn't closely enough related to any particular animal; it eventually evolved into the clarfish. Note the cute little thumbrest tail.

Isn't it cute?

The Bass Clarinet Weasel: this was another of the cute furry animals designed to be prey for the Evilphone. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to work out all the kinks before the story was posted, so I left it out. If you can't tell, the neck strap is supposed to be a tail.

He he he he cute.

The Saxduck II: the revised version of the original Saxduck, which was designed to look more like an actual duck. However, Renni and I agreed that we both liked the original better, and decided that the first one would be displayed.

It looks sad because it was running away from the evilphone.

The Alto Clarizard: what can I say? Clarinets and saxes are easy to use for this. This drawing evolved from a picture of a soprano clarinet as a snake wearing a necktie; now THAT was funny. Also, that thing it's climbing on is a rock.

Really, any clarinet-based bandimals are cute.

The Trumpetsnake: too evil. Also, how would it move, all tangled up like that? evil.

The Little Drummer Boy: What can I say about this one, except that Renni designed it, not me. The legs are supposed to be mallets.

Look, it's not mine, okay?

The Zeboard: actually one of my favorites, but rejected because it didn't fit into the environment; we're talking about a forest, not a savannah.

What do zebras' tails look like?

My sister and I collaborated on a series of unsuccessful ideas all along the same lines, including the Tubabear...

The main idea here was trying to use the keys as claws.

the Sousabear's Ghost...

Again, keys as claws. The original sousabear had no face because of the hole in the bell.

and the Bearytone. As you can see, we never quite got the hang of it.

No keys as claws. Maybe a weak attempt, but after I thought of the name I couldn't resist trying.

The Mosquitoboe: simple story. Renni and I were discussing which of the failures to post on this page. We were talking specifically about the single greatest failure we ever had: the Oboe chipmunk (it need not be posted here). I said, 'with that sharp reed sticking out, you'd need to make it a mosquito or something.' We both stared at each other for a second before grabbing our notebooks and feverishly sketching pictures of the new Mosquitoboe.

They whine just like oboes, but this way you get to slap 'em.

The Mellophone Manta Ray: this is one of the ones that sounded like a better idea than it turned out to be. You kind of need a good idea of what a manta ray looks like.

DO you know what a manta ray looks like?

The Melonphone: do I really have to explain this one?!

See, it's a phone...and it looks like a melon...and it sounds like mellophone...ah, shut up.

The Original Clarizard, aka the Necktie Snake: this is the one I mentioned earlier, the origin of the alto clarizard. Renni insisted that I put it up here.

He he he...another cute clarinet.

The jazz saxduck family: designed for the Haven's first National Sax Day; I drew them in math. I could never quite work out the bari, though, so he never made it out of my notebook. And they were drawn on November 5th (the 6th is sax day), which I'm told is International Clarinet Day. I can't verify it, but if you want, you can pretend the soprano is a clarinet. Either way.

Awww...the soprano is trying to fly. It's adorable!Boredom and trigonometry mixed can be dangerous. I've done scarier stuff than this, though.

The Alto Clarostrich: not mine. Becca THE alto clarinetist contributed it (she's SO nice). I can't really give you any interesting notes on its creation, but I thought it was really cute. Especially the wings!

Drawn by an actual alto clarinetist, so it looks better than my pathetic attempt.

The Mellophish: Reluctantly, TuxedoMatt's. The first color bandimal. I know the style doesn't really fit with the rest of them, but it's cool, right? Why are there so many mello bandimals? That's freaky.

Joey: Becca THE alto clarinetist's poor late clarinet--we'll all miss him.

I remember Joey.

Assorted bandimals submitted by Meaghean the Bassoon: I thought they were very well done. It's a fun style, and the page needs some color.

Yeah, I love the baraffe. What else would you expect?And the platyoboe. I mean, who wouldn't love something with pink eyes?

Got any of your own bandimals? Comments on these ones? Write me at
Or if you want, you could e-mail Renni at
First posted 6/27/01