Flute Jokes

How do concert band flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
They ask their boyfriend to do it for them.

What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.

How many flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only 1, but she'll break 10 bulbs before she realizes they can't be pushed in.

What key is the alto flute pitched in?
G-- I really don't care, either!!

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she'll have to twist it back and forth for an hour to make sure she gets it just right.

What's the difference between a flutist and a seamstress?
I seamstress tucks the frills.

Piccolo Jokes

How do you get two piccolo players to play in unison?
Shoot one.

What is the range of a piccolo?
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.

What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo?
When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim.

How do you tune two piccolos?
You shoot them both.

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
--Five: One to change the bulb, one to pull the ladder out from under her, and three to bitch about how much better they would have done it.

How many flutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one - she simply holds it up and the world revolves around her.

What do you call a good flute section?
Impossible

How can you tell if a plane is full of flute players?
When the engines stop, the whining continues